MY WALK

During the series of lectures with Charlie we have been asked to record a walk. This doesnt have to be a actual walk but has to be a journey.

I have decided to do my journey of religion...specifically Christianity and Catholic. 

My story is basically this:

I was born Emma Ann McMahon, in to a Roman Catholic Irish family in 1987.

I went to a Roman Catholic primary school called Saint Anne's then left there when I moved to another Roman Catholic school called Saint Clare's. It is here where I questioned beliefs at a very early age.

I was always keen to make an impression in church and be a good two shoes, sitting with my knees together, hands together with thumbs crossed over, always making sure my thumbs were against my chest, as I always thought my prayers would only count if my hands were against my chest, close to my heart. 

During school you have to do your Conformation then your Holy Communion. 

Conformation is where you get a blessing and can then go up to the alter during mass to get blessed (I felt grown up walking with the adults) this happens before you get your Communion (which is where you can finally be "grown up" and get the bread and wine) BUT.......

The week after my Conformation I was at the weekly mass and I wasn't paying attention to the teacher and we were told to lined up and walk down the aisle to the alter but because I wasn't listening i didn't cross my arms over to get blessed and I kept my hands in praying position, which resulted in me getting the bread and wine...................

Lets just say when the teacher found out, she marched my back to the school called my mother and repeatedly told me I was "going to Hell", I was "the worst human being ever" and "Satan would get you"

I WAS 8 YEARS OLD!!!!

This just made me think, is this what I want to be told for the the rest of my life if I did bad things?

I completed my primary education in Saint Claire's and went on to a normal secondary school.

Even though I basically renounced my faith I still love religious imagery. I even have a a sacred heart tattoo on my arm which reads "Mi Ruina" My Ruin

It reminds me that religion is my ruin but it can't bring me down.